When Cadden was born.. I had this fantasy of doing mommy and me classes with him… that I would be that perfect mom. We would do mommy and me yoga, mommy and me music, mommy and me wine …. what ever came up we would do, and we did. Well we didn’t do mommy and me wine because there is no such thing yet ( great business opportunity).
We did it all.. I for one time was the “perfect” mom.
Lyam then was born … and again we just added him into the mix. We did less classes but still it worked out.
Then I was pregnant with Eli.
The last class we did then was a yoga class… it wasn’t a mommy and me class it was donation based. The class went somewhat like this:
Teacher: “Lets all get into downward dog pose.”
Cadden: ( who gets in pose) “Mommy I just farted”
Lyam: ( looking around helplessly) “mommy where’s akila?” ( then bending over to look in my face, as if I would answer his question faster if he asked face level)
Me: ( breathe, breath this will be over soon right?)
Teacher: child pose, breath in and let go of distractions.
Cadden: ( does pose) “mommy I farted again”
Lyam: ( Climbs on top of me )
Me: ( for the love of god, how can one let go of their stress if it’s on top of you? My belly is not liking this)
End of class
Teacher: “Now lets lay on our backs and relax”
Cadden: ( gets in my face to have a conversation)
Lyam: ( gets in my face to repeat every damn word cadden is saying)
Me: (get me the hell out of here.)
Lets say after that hour class … we never did another class again…
until the other day.
Now background context… I went in for a weight check for Eli… ( the only mommy and me activity) and saw the poster for baby music classes 9 bucks… ok cool. I asked the woman there if all my kids could come… she said yes. Now I was some how thinking this was a drop off music class that I would be able to drop off all the crumb grabbers and leave for an hour.
I was in heaven just thinking about it.
Class day comes. We arrive late.. get directed to the class room I open door and there are all these moms with their babies.
Now the teacher must have realized I was panicking she welcomes me in and asks me to join my kids on the floor.
SHE ASKED ME TO JOIN MY KIDS.
I really didn’t want to join them.. I wanted to leave.. I wanted freedom.
Yet I listened and joined my kids on the floor.
She began to sing… and hand the boys bells and birds.
(what do birds have to do with music?)
Cadden takes the bells .. you can tell my mommy and me classes with him paid off.. he joins right in singing about birds and horses and what ever the heck other animals.
Lyam well he is hesitant. The teacher notices and asks him to help sing.. his answer “No” in fact he said no to everything she asked of him. (that’s my boy)
Eli.. well he looked .. then his bottom lip quivered and he cried. After a quick nursing session he looked at everyone in the class like what am I doing here.
Me: ” hello, hello hello, Eli, eli , o ….” ( wait why I am i singing this? Why are we adding O’s to everyone’s name? why is she pulling out a parachute? Why am I still here?)
Looking around at the moms in this class they all look fresh, just the one child who is not yet running, climbing out the roof of cars, fighting. like no worries in the world.
I on the other hand had to proactively ask the teacher to give the boys their own bells or world war three would unfold in front of our eyes.
I sat in that class thinking “I just gave this business money to play with my kids…. I seriously just paid to play with them”.
Lesson learned: next time give the kids pots and pans and sit with a glass of wine … at home.
Oh and if you do you know of a mommy and me wine class …. Let me know.